I must have this kiss
by LoriH
Summary: What if Darcy stole a kiss when he deposited the letter that morning? Mr. Collins discovers them. Elizabeth has not yet read the letter. How will she react? Will he walk away, like she expects him to? This is only a PREVIEW OF THE BOOK. It has been removed for publication (but kept here as proof of copyright). All rights reserved.
1. The Kiss

**This story was written by Lorraine Hetschel. All rights are reserved. This is a preview of the book only. The later chapters have been deleted for preparation for publishing. These early chapters are going to remain on ffn as proof of publication date and prior ownership, should anyone try to publish my story elsewhere. The book will be available through kindle or nook either around spring break or summer. Thanks!**

**Chapter 1: The Kiss**

Elizabeth could not remember how she passed the evening. She stood in the parlor for a very long time, staring at the door Mr. Darcy had exited through. It was too shocking. He had proposed marriage to her. Mr. Darcy had really loved her all this time. But he had also rejoiced in separating Mr. Bingley from Jane and refused to talk about the history between Mr. Wickham and himself. Well, the last part was not too shocking; she had had her suspicions in that regard. Despicable man!

Eventually, she became sensible of the hour and knew that the Collinses would return soon. She did not feel capable of feigning indifference. Finding her room, she attempted to lie in her bed, but her mind refused to cooperate in sleep. When asked, she stated that she had a headache, hoping to calm Charlotte's mind without needing to converse with anyone. She returned to the parlor as soon as the others returned and were safely asleep. Light from a corner startled her and made her turn, but she soon saw it was only her reflection in a small mirror.

She moved towards the mirror, not recognizing her own reflection. Time passed while she stood still. Instead of reflecting on Mr. Darcy and his proposal, she thought about what she had said to him. Truly, she had said some terrible things. She had declared he was no gentleman. She had said she hated him and that he was the last man in the world she could be prevailed upon to marry. With such feelings of self-disdain, she paced for hours. Despite his actions and words, she had had no excuse not to be kind. Feeling haggard, she finally took a seat and only barely shut her eyes. Next thing she knew, it was morning, only a few hours later. A noise from upstairs alerted her to the hour. Still not wishing to disturb the others, she quietly slipped outside.

The sun was warm enough that she could walk without her pelisse, and the ground was dry enough that her indoor shoes would not get very soiled. She started out, not really knowing where she wandered. She was halfway to her favorite grove when she remembered that Mr. Darcy would often meet her there. He was the last person she wished to see right now, so she steered away. An hour later, she was no nearer a resolution. She still hated herself for being so cruel to him. She had nearly entered the gate when she heard a noise behind her. Since she was close to the house, she hoped it would only be Mr. Collins.

The person began walking towards her silently. The fact that he had not spoken and the weight of the footsteps made her realize it must be Mr. Darcy! She waited for him to speak but remained facing away from him.

Mr. Darcy stood irresolutely, hoping to see her face one last time. He knew he would never see her again. Remembering she had no desire to see him, he placed a thick letter on the gate beside her and attempted to turn and leave. When she did not respond, he stopped. _Was she well? Did she regret her decision?_ He wanted to speak, but he could not find any words. Instead, he placed his arm on her shoulder very lightly. "I came to leave you this letter."

Elizabeth finally turned and looked up into his eyes. Her pulse quickened as she noticed the hurt expression spread over his face. He looked miserable. She wanted to think _serves him right_, but it was impossible to be so mean. She could see the love and hurt he felt, and she felt mesmerized by the depth of feeling she found there. For a moment, she even thought a knife wound must be less painful. And here she had thought him an unfeeling cad not twenty-four hours ago.

Mr. Darcy was not faring any better than she was. As he watched her expressions change from one moment to the next, he almost broke down and begged her to reconsider, but his pride rescued him. She wanted nothing from him, and he had to remember that. However, when she reacted to his pain and leaned forward slightly as though to comfort him, he gave into his urges and leaned forward to kiss the lips that had haunted him for so long, lips that he knew he would never taste again.

Her lips were softer than he had expected. He knew he should step away, but he could not move, his mind warring between what was right and what felt so wonderful. When she did not resist, he deepened the kiss and placed a hand on each of her cheeks. For some reason, it did not bother him that she was standing still and not responding to his advances. He continued tasting her sweet lips. He did not move again until the door of the cottage opened and a loud gasp reminded him of where they were. Mr. Collins was standing in the doorway gaping at them.

Mr. Darcy quickly broke contact with Elizabeth, and as soon as he made certain Elizabeth was steady, for she had swayed at first, he turned and blocked Mr. Collins' view of her. His muddled mind was grasping at every thought it could muster in an attempt to save her, as well as himself, from the inevitable embarrassment.

Mr. Collins could not comprehend what he had seen at first, so he relied on his duty to the nephew of his ladyship. "Mr. Darcy, I hope Miss Elizabeth has been entertaining you well. We were having breakfast and did not know you had come. You have my sincerest apologies for such a breach in decorum. Would you like to come inside? I am certain we have provisions aplenty for you."

At the word _decorum_, Elizabeth finally regained her senses enough to recognize what danger she was in. After refusing his suit, Mr. Darcy had kissed her, and she had done nothing to stop him. And now, her infuriating cousin had seen them. _How could Mr. Darcy do this to her?_ She looked down in a desperate attempt to find an escape. The letter, still sitting on the gate, caught her eye, even though she had only a vague memory of him placing it there. Unable to stand still any longer, she took a deep breath and picked up the heavy letter. The next moment, she darted past her cousin and into the house. She did not even glance at either of the gentlemen, although they both stared at her. _How would she ever recover from such shame?_

Mr. Darcy took courage when she disappeared and thought of a way out of their predicament. He could not abandon her now, despite her previous words and what he had written in his letter. He turned his attention to Mr. Collins, who had not yet stopped talking. Mrs. Collins stood beside him now. "Mr. Collins, my betrothed is somewhat overcome by her fortune and is going inside to rest. Please, do not disturb her. When she returns to your company, please tell her that I have gone to speak with Mr. Bennet. Until I return, I would appreciate it if this could remain as discreet as possible." As an afterthought, he added, "My aunt will not look favorably on anyone who brings her this news. I wish to tell her myself. Am I clear?"

Mr. Collins tripped over himself in his assurances, and Mr. Darcy felt he could safely leave. This was the only possible course of action now. He must speak with Mr. Bennet and marry her before Mr. Collins let loose his tongue. His only consolation was that Elizabeth had his letter. Perhaps she would read it while he was gone. If she would give any credit to its contents, it is possible that she might think better of him when he returned. If not, perhaps someday she would find a way to forgive him.


	2. Charlotte Reacts

**Chapter 2: Charlotte Reacts**

Mr. Collins stood in silence for some minutes after Mr. Darcy left. Although he was a little slow on the uptake, he realized he must have caught the lovers in an intimate embrace. He barely knew what to think, although Lady Catherine's potential reaction remained at the forefront of his thoughts.

Mrs. Collins fared better, since she had an inkling of Mr. Darcy's admiration for Elizabeth. She had been standing behind her husband at the beginning, although she had not been seen by either Mr. Darcy or Elizabeth. She did hear what was said between Mr. Darcy and her husband, however, and her mind was quickly working to help Elizabeth despite not knowing any of the particulars.

Charlotte Collins was very observant by nature. In fact, she had known Mr. Darcy was in love with Elizabeth ever since the first time she had seen them together in Hertfordshire, despite Elizabeth's protests to the contrary. The couple had rarely spent much time in each other's company, but even then, he had always seemed to gravitate towards her.

Here in Kent, his growing attraction had been obvious every time she had seen the two of them together, which was more frequent than it would have been otherwise. He walked with her almost every morning and sought her attention frequently in the afternoon and at Rosings Park. She thought back to when she had mentioned her observations to Elizabeth the other day. Elizabeth had denied everything. She had been so insistent on the matter that Charlotte had not dared broach the subject again.

Charlotte reckoned something must have happened between Mr. Darcy and her friend either that morning or the previous evening while she had been at Rosings. She remembered that Mr. Darcy had disappeared for a few hours during the course of the evening. She had not thought about where he went, for it meant nothing to her at the time. But it was possible, and now seemed very likely, that he had come to propose. He must have been successful in his endeavor, since they met again this morning. He even called her his betrothed when he was speaking to Mr. Collins. _Elizabeth is engaged to Mr. Darcy!_

The only thing that did not make sense was Elizabeth's reaction to the engagement. She had stormed passed without even noticing anyone else. Indeed, she had been acting different ever since her morning walk the day before. Perhaps that was the source of the proposal. If that were the case, it was very improper for them to meet in her home that evening. Every fiber of her being wanted to go ask Elizabeth what was troubling her, but she knew her friend well. She would not confide in anyone until she was ready.

Charlotte smiled as she thought of her friend's current fortune. It would be a marvelous match. Mr. Darcy called her his betrothed. It must be so. Elizabeth would never want for anything again. _But why then was she so dejected and upset?_ Something was amiss, and Charlotte desperately wanted to help her friend.

While Charlotte thought all this, only one truth finally came forth in Mr. Collins' mind. Charlotte was brought out of her reverie by her husband's shaking voice. "Lady Catherine will be displeased!" He sounded terrified.

Charlotte almost laughed, but she quickly turned her energy towards calming his nerves. It would not do for the servants to hear, if they had not already heard. In order to remain discreet, it was important that her husband calm down. "Yes, _if _she finds out. So we must do as Mr. Darcy says and not speak a word of it to anyone until he tells us to."

"She will never approve. What will she say when she hears we kept Elizabeth in our home in light of her scheming to take Miss de Bourgh's place as his wife."

Thankfully for Mr. Darcy, Mrs. Collins knew perfectly well how to manage her husband. "Elizabeth is a guest in our house, and she has done nothing wrong or improper, assuming we know nothing of this incident today. Mr. Darcy is leaving, so they will no longer meet under our roof. All will be well. Lady Catherine need never know that we saw what happened today. I will go and speak to Elizabeth now. The rain looks like it might come again. You should go check on your garden before it is too late."

With only a mumbled agreement, he strode out of the house. Mrs. Collins looked up the stairs and hesitated. Perhaps giving her a few moments alone would be best. Despite her lingering curiosity, the first few minutes of her anger or joy would not be the best to bear witness to. Determined, she walked around the house to ensure the maids had all been either too busy or too far to hear the commotion. Maria had been in her room, refolding her dresses, so she was also out of earshot. Thankfully, it appeared that Charlotte and her husband were the only witnesses. The scandal could be contained, at least for now. She doubted she could keep him silent forever.

She turned to the door of Elizabeth's room. It was not completely shut. Walking softly closer, she could see Elizabeth sitting on her bed, staring at a sealed envelope. A letter from him secured her realization that they must have come to an understanding. Elizabeth must be simply overcome, although that was not really in her character. Charlotte smiled. All would be well in the end, she felt. She did not worry about Elizabeth until she heard her utter under her breath, "Oh, what have I done?" in a nearly terrified voice.

Curious, Charlotte fought with herself for a few moments. She wanted to talk with Elizabeth, but she also knew Elizabeth needed space. In the end, she walked away from the room. Elizabeth did not come downstairs again that day, and Charlotte was forced to spread a small falsehood that Elizabeth was ill and needed rest to avoid gossip. The next day, Elizabeth walked out early in the morning. When she returned, everyone was sitting down to breakfast. Maria immediately asked if she was feeling better.

"I kept to my room too long yesterday. The fresh air has revived me." She did not look revived, but only Charlotte observed this.

"Then will you feel up to dinner at Rosings this evening?" Maria felt that Elizabeth's presence made her own more bearable. Lady Catherine had a way of looking for faults in her and Elizabeth, but she was always more interested in Elizabeth than herself. But with Elizabeth's absence, she would have neither guide nor support except for her own sister.

Mr. Collins intervened. "No, she looks too ill for that. She should stay at home and rest. Lady Catherine is aware of the delicate sensibilities of young ladies and will understand when I explain to her what you are feeling, Cousin Elizabeth. Have no fear on that accord."

Charlotte was proud to see that Elizabeth did not back down or appear ashamed. Instead, she ate quietly and excused herself when finished eating. She hoped that this change in Elizabeth was for the better, and that they would talk about what had happened very soon.

The day passed quietly. Elizabeth read a book in her room, according to Charlotte, who kept a close eye on her. Elizabeth did not confide anything in her friend that day.

Before it was time to leave for Rosings, an express rider came with a letter for Elizabeth. Charlotte could not recognize the handwriting and therefore assumed it must be from Mr. Darcy. She walked up the steps to Elizabeth's room, hoping to finally speak with Elizabeth. Knocking upon the door, Elizabeth muttered a small, "Enter."

Charlotte looked around the room. The bed was made, and the few pages of a letter were scattered across it, shifting as the breeze from the open window blew around them. She looked at Elizabeth, who did not look at peace with herself. "I came to give you this express. We must leave soon."

Elizabeth took the letter and blushingly set it aside, although she could not tear her eyes form it. Charlotte could not understand what was plaguing her friend but did not dare press the point. "All will be well. You must see that."

Elizabeth smiled reassuringly at Charlotte, although she was not convinced it was sincere. Elizabeth added, "I hope you are right. Do not worry about me. I shall be well tomorrow."

"That is good to hear, Eliza. I wish to be brought into your confidences tomorrow as well. I have been a patient friend for long enough. Now I wish to be satisfied."

"Yes, Charlotte. I do not mean to keep secrets from you." Elizabeth only turned away from Charlotte, who had no other option than to leave. Mr. Collins was already downstairs exclaiming at the tardiness of the hour.


	3. Mr Darcy Has Some Explaining to Do

**Chapter 3: Mr. Darcy Has Some Explaining to Do**

Mr. Darcy paced the Rosings' garden for almost half an hour as he regained his composure. His heart raced as he thought of what he had done. In one act of self-indulgence, he had risked ruining the reputation of the love of his life. She had refused him outright, and now she must marry him. _The last man in the world she could be prevailed upon to marry._ It was unpardonable. She would be well within her right to hate him forever. But he would be good to her and give her everything she ever asked for. He had already planned to leave for London with his cousin on the morrow. Now, he must hurry and leave within the hour, so that he could continue on to Hertfordshire once he arrived in London.

With his resolution in place, he strode as calmly as possible towards the entrance to Rosings. He moved quietly upstairs. Once in the privacy of his own chamber, he sank into a chair. His valet, Mr. Williams, entered quickly thereafter, and Mr. Darcy was able to relate the necessities about his travels in a few short sentences. He knew he could trust Mr. Williams. He would see to all the particulars.

Mr. Williams left quickly, leaving Mr. Darcy alone again to think dire thoughts. _How could I have done this to the woman I love?_ _How could I ever win her heart now? _It was, most certainly, the most difficult task he had undertaken so far. The trouble with Wickham and his sister last summer paled in comparison to what he had done to Elizabeth. Then, he had been able to rescue his sister without any threat of a scandal. Now, the only way to save Elizabeth was to marry her, _even though she despises me. _

He continued in this hateful manner towards himself until his cousin barged into his room and demanded an explanation. "Why must I get up so early? My commander does not expect me to return until the afternoon."

"I have business that cannot be delayed, Richard. See to it that you are not late."

"No business could have reached you today, for the post has not yet come. Do not lie to me, Darcy. Why must we go now? We have not even taken leave of our friends at the parsonage." To add to his demand, he stood as imposing as his portly belly could allow.

"We must go now because I must ride to Hertfordshire to ask Mr. Bennet for his daughter's hand in marriage. There, are you satisfied?" He stood and stared down his cousin. Being almost a foot taller made his demeanor palpably more imposing. He hoped that he could hide his true feelings of misery.

Colonel Fitzwilliam relaxed immediately, completely ignoring the melancholy written all over Darcy's face. "Congratulations, my friend. May you have many years to savor her charms! I am certain you will never regret your choice. She is a magnificent creature." He paused to clap Darcy on the shoulder. "But if that is the case, then why must we leave so early? Surely, you wish to see her again before we ride off, if only to steal a kiss to remember her by."

The pain of Darcy's memories was too much. He turned sharply and, with no warning, replied in a less than calm manner, "Get out and be ready to go soon."

The colonel was too wise to remain in the room. Mr. Darcy fell back into his chair the moment the door was shut. His cousin had said the worst thing possible. The thought of Elizabeth's lips brought a torment of mixed emotions. While their taste was ecstasy, they also brought the memory of how much he had damaged her. One kiss between them, and her reputation was ruined. She would surely hate him for it for a very long time, if she ever forgave him. It would take a miracle. He thought of his letter, and he despised himself for writing it. How could he have been so presumptuous? Lines from the letter came to his mind, and he dreaded her reading it. He should have been more temperate in his description of her family.

Much sooner than would normally have been possible, Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam found themselves sitting opposite each other in the carriage. The former looked stern and foreboding. The latter took the hint and remained quiet, although he was very curious about the circumstances of their departure and his cousin's mood. The carriage moved very slowly for both gentlemen. One was disturbed while the other was mostly bored. Unfulfilled curiosity could only feed a person for so long.

Mr. Darcy climbed onto his horse within half an hour of returning to his London town-home. For the first time that day, he felt in control of his situation. Thankfully, his horse had not joined him on his trip to Rosings, so he was well rested. He knew not to tire the horse over much, so the 20 mile stretch was mostly completed at a walking pace with trots every couple of miles to keep time. He challenged his horse farther than he should, but the animal rode to Longbourn with no major injuries. Mr. Darcy was thankful that it was only four o'clock, which meant he could speak with Mr. Bennet and have time to find room at an inn before dark.

After seeing that his horse was well looked after, he knocked on the front door. His wait was not long. Mrs. Hill opened the door and asked how she could help. "Here is my card. I wish to speak with Mr. Bennet as soon as he is available."

Mrs. Hill looked strangely at the visitor. She could not remember seeing him before, and by the way he dressed, she could tell he was not from Hertfordshire. Thinking this must be important, she invited him to sit in the front parlor. It was warm, but the ladies of the house would not be bothered by his presence there. She then excused herself and went to find Mr. Bennet. He was not hard to find, since he was always in his library during the day. She knocked lightly, knowing he hated to be disturbed. After hearing his muttered "enter", she opened the door cautiously and stepped inside.

"Pardon me, sir, but there is a man here to see you. He gave me this card." She walked the rest of the way to her master's desk and handed it to him.

Mr. Bennet looked at the card for only a moment before laughing. "What can he be doing here? Show Mr. Darcy in, Mrs. Hill. It would not do to leave him waiting." He sat up and moved his books aside, pulling out the letter from his favorite daughter that had arrived that very morning. While Mr. Darcy had been mentioned, the letter contained nothing that could forewarn his coming to Hertfordshire.

Mr. Darcy was not faring very well in the parlor. The room was clean and well decorated, and it made him realize he had never entered the house previously. Indeed, he had only rarely entered the village. Elizabeth's admonishments about his behavior finally hit home. He had done absolutely nothing to forward his suit, and his only defense was that he thought he was avoiding her at the time. _No wonder she hates me._

Within another minute, Mr. Darcy stood before Mr. Bennet. He appeared more in control of himself than he felt as he said, "Good afternoon, sir. I was hoping for a moment of your time. I have a very important request to make of you."

"Good afternoon, Mr. Darcy. Please, take a seat. My neck hurts from looking up at you." He chuckled slightly at his own joke but stopped when he noticed Mr. Darcy was not amused. Indeed, he looked very grave, which worried Mr. Bennet more than he would admit.

Mr. Darcy accepted the seat quickly, but he could not bring himself to speak with the same speed and surety. A silence threatened to consume the room, and Mr. Bennet wondered how long it would last. He had decided not to force the gentleman to speak. Eventually, Mr. Darcy spoke again. "I am here to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage."

Mr. Bennet blanched. He glanced back at his daughter's letter. It had given no hint or warning. Other than her ridiculing a pretence of an engagement to his frail cousin, she had not mentioned him. He began to grasp at straws. "You wish to marry Jane?" He asked.

"No, as much as I respect her, I wish to marry Miss Elizabeth Bennet."

It was another four minutes before Mr. Bennet could speak again. He expected that response, but it was not what he wished to hear. The only thing he could utter was a very small, "Why?"

Mr. Darcy smiled slightly as he thought over why he had wanted to marry Elizabeth in the beginning. Most of his thoughts were unsuitable for the ears of her father. "I admire the strength of her character. I am convinced she will be an excellent mistress of Pemberley and sister to my young sister. She has much to bring to the marriage."

Mr. Bennet could not argue these points, although he knew very little of Pemberley and nothing about Mr. Darcy's sister. "You know she has no dowry to speak of."

"I assumed as much." Mr. Darcy nodded.

"She accepted you?" This was Mr. Bennet's last bid for more time before he had to give his answer. He was not certain he could refuse anything Mr. Darcy condescended to ask of him. He thought back to Elizabeth's letter. She had not spoken well of Mr. Darcy. In fact, she had laughed at him and his family.

Unfortunately, this was the question Mr. Darcy dreaded the most, since he abhorred deceit of any kind. He closed his eyes as he deflated and said, "She had no choice."

The blood that had left Mr. Bennet's face now returned three-fold. "What have you done to her?" He feared the response he might hear. He had seen women after an attack lose all their spark and life. Elizabeth was too precious to him. He could not imagine such a fate for her. Marrying such a scoundrel would only make it worse.

Mr. Darcy looked away, uncomfortable. He wondered how he would feel if someone were to come to him with a similar statement about Georgiana. There was no doubt. He would be ready to kill whoever it was. He returned with a softer face to Mr. Bennet. "I have done nothing that you are imagining. In a moment of weakness, I kissed her. We were observed."

Mr. Bennet only slightly relaxed. "Get out of my sight. Return in a week with the settlement papers. If they are acceptable to me, I will accept your offer. If not, I trust you will do all in your power to quell the rumors." Mr. Darcy rose and bowed as if to leave, but Mr. Bennet continued. "I have one more thing to say, sir, if you please. _If_ I accept your offer, you are not to touch her again until you take her hand at the altar."

"Yes, sir. I will return a week from today. Thank you." He turned and walked out of the room. Mr. Bennet did not stop him again.

He walked directly to the front door, threw it open, and stepped out before Mrs. Hill could reach the door to open it for him. His shame was such that he could not stand another minute in the house. He had disgraced his name, and now he needed more than Elizabeth's forgiveness to recover. He returned to the stable and found his horse was still recovering, though he was doing very well. "Give him to me. We will walk to Meryton to find an inn. Thank you, Mr. Silverton, for your care of him."

The stable man bowed and handed the reins to Mr. Darcy, who walked beside his horse he attempted to control his emotions. Passing the gates, he climbed onto the horse's back and slowly rode into the village, wishing he could race through the fields to release his energy. When he found the inn, he directed his horse to the stable yard out back. Paying three shillings for the stable boy to take care of him, he returned to the front of the inn. After paying for a room and refreshing himself, he returned to the dining room and sat at a table to contemplate all that had occurred in less than two days.

Unbidden, Elizabeth's words from her rejection came to his mind, and he felt their sting once again. When the bartender came to ask for his order, he requested bread and butter along with a pen and paper. When a lady returned with the writing supplies, he kindly asked her to fetch an express rider.

The letter was quick and to the point, and he finished long before the express rider arrived. While he waited, Colonel Forster arrived with a few men who recognized Mr. Darcy. After some whispered conversations, the colonel approached him. "Good afternoon, Mr. Darcy."

Mr. Darcy had watched the colonel's coming with mixed feelings. He harbored no ill-will towards the good colonel, but he also did not care to have his thoughts interrupted. However, he knew he needed to repair his reputation in Hertfordshire, and this was the best beginning he would be given. "Good afternoon." He motioned for the colonel to take the seat next to him.

The colonel eyed the man for a moment before continuing. "I had not thought I would see you again in Hertfordshire. Is your party not with you?"

"They are not. I had business today and came alone."

"You will forgive me if I am asking this, but are you here to see one of my men?"

Mr. Darcy eyed the colonel cautiously, immediately and rightly thinking of Wickham. "No. I would rather have nothing to do with him."

"He says the same of you, sir."

"And you trust him?" Loathing laced Darcy's voice.

"I do. Trust is essential to allow us to work together."

"Then I suggest you do your own research not rely on his ability to charm. Ask the owner of this establishment how long his bill is. You would also do well to do the same for the other shops here in town. You might also inquire as to whether or not he has dallied with any of their daughters. If you want to keep your regiment's honor intact, it is your duty to know the state of his affairs. Most of his fellow officers are undoubtedly waiting for large sums in gambling debts from him. You would do well to increase your caution of him, and you need not take my word for it."

The colonel once again considered the man before him. He had told no truth or falsehood, and his essence as a gentleman commanded respect. He nodded and took his leave to rejoin his men. Before quitting the inn, he spoke a few words to the owner, and he did not like what he discovered.

Mr. Darcy left as soon as the express messenger was paid to be on his way. He was glad to return to his room, although he was by no means calm enough to rest on the lumpy bed. Not surprisingly, Mr. Darcy slept very little. His dreams consisted of his long-desired Elizabeth Darcy yelling at him and refusing him entrance to her rooms repeatedly. It was an exquisite torture.

In the morning, he ordered his horse to be ready after breakfast, and he was glad to see his home in London early in the morning. As soon as he entered the house, he was welcomed by his sister. Although he was not equal to the task of confiding in her, he did hint that their lives were about to change forever. Miss Darcy was too shy of her brother to inquire further.


	4. Elizabeth's Fate

**Chapter 4: Elizabeth's Fate**

The day passed without any change in Elizabeth's stance. She sat on her bed, the letter sitting untouched. Part of her wanted to read what he had written. The other part told her to burn his words, for he had just proven he had no honor. The shift from one extreme to the other was the only constant that swirled around her mind. _What was in the letter?_ His apparent pain showed her that he did not intend to renew his proposal. _Then why did he kiss her?_ She cursed herself for her wantonness. A true lady would have pushed him away or slapped him. She had done nothing to prevent it.

Then came the worst part of the entire history, her cousin had seen them. She was very acutely aware of how perilous her situation was. _What will everyone think of her?_ She knew better than to think her cousin would keep silent. It was so terrible she decided that she could not force her company upon her hosts. She had nothing to do but think about all that had happened and what lie ahead in her future.

She knew Mr. Darcy would leave the next day, assuming he had not already disappeared. He had nothing to worry about. Society would applaud his recklessness, but now she was ruined. She would never marry respectably, not that the chance of marrying someone she loved was ever very high. Now, it was non-existent. In anger, she took the letter and moved to the fireplace. It was empty since the weather had been so warm, and she did not have the energy to light a fire. It would have to wait until morning. She set the letter in the grate and quickly changed her dress. The water in her nightstand was cold and refreshing. She shivered as she washed her arms and face.

Before she climbed into bed, she glanced at the small mirror hanging on the wall. Only one candle was lit, and she could barely see the outline of her face. She imagined she could see the result of their kiss. She might as well have a mark on her forehead displaying her ruin, although no such mark existed. Her cousin's slanderous words would forever haunt her, whenever they began. No gentleman would offer for her now. She would never marry, especially not for love.

The morning arrived after little to no sleep on Elizabeth's part. When she did sleep, her many dreams shifted around a very angry Mr. Darcy having his way with her and then walking away. She was helpless to stop him every time. Opening her eyes, she very nearly started crying. But she pushed her tears away and rose from the bed.

She quietly donned her walking dress and was about to leave when she noticed the letter in the grate. Hastily, she picked it up and took it with her. It felt like lead in her hands. Finally her curiosity had gotten the better of her. Determined to read the letter while on her walk, she quietly made her way through the house, only stopping to quickly grab a small roll from the previous evening in the kitchen to stave off hunger.

She did not pause again until she was out of sight of the parsonage. Immediately after turning around a bend, she leaned against a tree and took a few deep breaths. The fresh air felt exhilarating after so long indoors. She closed her eyes to savor the morning. The letter and her troubles were nearly forgotten as she took in the beauty around her, but its weight slowly drew her attention back to it.

She turned the letter to face the direction. He had written her name very eloquently. Fleetingly, she remembered Miss Bingley's praise of his writing back at Netherfield. She had been so determined to win his affections, that she was blind to how annoying he found her attention. She laughed slightly. He never desired to be courted for his attentions. Miss Bingley had always been fighting a lost battle. Her mind wandered back to remember the depth of emotions she could see on his face in the moments before he kissed her. Previously, she would never have thought it possible for him to feel so much.

She opened the letter and read the first sentence. His intention was not to renew his proposal, and she could almost feel the anger seeping from his words. She sighed. It was as she suspected, he had ruined her and left her. Her eyes filled with unshed tears, but she pushed them back. Needing the distraction, she continued reading. He demanded justice in the form of being allowed to describe his side of their argument. _It is just like him_, she thought.

The letter then returned to the circumstances surrounding Jane and Mr. Bingley. He had seen their attachment, but thought it less on Jane's side. He actually believed Jane had been incapable of enough heart to really love his friend. At least the very long paragraphs took the time to state that he might be in error in this, although he never mentioned fixing said error. Her tears were forgotten as a surge of anger rushed through her veins, and she had to fight her arms to avoid tearing the letter. She hastily put it in her pocket and began to run. She did not know exactly where, but she worried she would harm herself if left with the energy boiling inside her.

Minutes later, her energy was spent, and she fell to the ground and leaned against another tree as she remembered the words of her sister's last letter. Jane would never admit to melancholy, but Elizabeth was well versed in her sister's mannerisms. What Jane did not say was more telling than anything else. Jane, even after six months separation, was still heartbroken. _And it was all Mr. Darcy's fault!_ The man had ruined the happiness of her dearest sister, and now he ruined her life, the woman who he had claimed to love only two days before.

Eager to find more to hate about Mr. Darcy, she reopened the letter and found her place. The letter quickly turned to the affairs between himself and Mr. Wickham. In this, she was certain he could not justify himself. She read on, but nothing was as she imagined. _Mr. Wickham could not be so vile as Mr. Darcy painted him to be._ But it only got worse. From spending and gambling away four thousand pounds in a year, Mr. Darcy then explained how his own sister was drawn in by Mr. Wickham's schemes.

She put the letter down once more. _How could he lie about his own sister? _His pride would not allow such a falsehood. _It must be true._ Her ability to read character sat in tatters around her. She slowly put the pieces together. Her energy spent, she could not release her anger through any means but more tears. She cried for a quarter of an hour before finally picking up the letter and reading the adieu. He stated a desire to redeem himself in her eyes and even offered Colonel Fitzwilliam's testimony as proof should she not have believed himself. For a moment, she fingered his signature. She could not disagree with Miss Bingley. His handwriting was very fine.

In this moment, she felt truly sorry for him. He had fallen in love against his wishes to a woman who cared not if he lived or died. How many before him had done the same? Now, she understood the depth of agony he displayed when he entered the parsonage. But that still did not excuse him for ruining her reputation. She could not forgive him that. In desperation to think ill of him, she reread the part of the letter that explained his behavior toward her family and Jane, in particular. He could not redeem him there. He had been wrong.

But her second perusal of that part did not bring her the dislike she had hoped for. Unbidden, recollections of Charlotte's statement came to her mind. Jane did not show her affections openly. And Charlotte was right. An outsider could not see the affection that Elizabeth saw clearly. Acting as a friend, he was justified to that extent. He could not even condemn him for his words against her family. His words were true, as much as it pained her to admit it.

Realizing how much time had passed and how much her stomach was rumbling, she rose and walked back to the parsonage. Her future still seemed bleak, but the spring air helped to put an air of indifference into her mindset. Elizabeth always found it hard to remain melancholy when so much beauty was about her. She also knew well not to worry about what she could not change. Everyone would be around the breakfast table. At least they were used to her morning walks.

The house loomed closer. _How will they receive me_, she thought slightly anxiously. With a deep breath, she entered the house. As expected, they were all sitting down to breakfast. Maria and Charlotte were the only ones pleased to see her. Maria began immediately.

"Are you feeling better? I was so worried about you yesterday."

Elizabeth laughed slightly. It was good to know someone still worried about her, and she dearly hoped it would continue once everyone knew her new situation. "I kept to my room too long yesterday. The fresh air has revived me." She then took the seat beside Maria and began helping herself to toast and preserves.

Meanwhile, Maria looked fit to burst. As soon as Elizabeth could respond to her, she asked, "Then will you feel up to dinner at Rosings this evening?"

Mr. Collins intervened before Elizabeth could say a word. "No, she looks too ill for that. She should stay at home and rest. Lady Catherine is aware of the delicate sensibilities of young ladies and will understand when I explain to her what you are feeling, Cousin Elizabeth. Have no fear on that accord."

Elizabeth understood that he did not want her to go to Rosings after yesterday's events. She did not blame him for his desire to care for his patroness' sensibilities. For almost the first time, she agreed with him in his assessment. She had no desire to sit with Lady Catherine at present. She finished eating and removed to her room. She held a book in one hand, but her attention was caught by the letter, and she read it through many times with varying emotions each time. Most of the time, her anger boiled. Sometimes her anger was directed at the writer of the letter, other times at herself for misjudging so terribly. Other times, she felt a loss of something she could not describe.

She regretted the entire event but knew she could not change it. When she tried to distract herself with a book or piece of embroidery, she found she could not concentrate for more than a few minutes. She thought about going downstairs and sitting with Charlotte, but she did not wish to force her company or make an awkward scene between Charlotte and her husband.

In this manner, the day passed. Elizabeth spent time either in her room or out of doors. She walked long and hard, hoping to banish her anger. It would not do to let her anger fester. When she was not out walking, she kept to her room. The letter she now knew by heart, although it offered little comfort to her.

That evening, Charlotte entered Elizabeth's room to offer her an express which had just come. She could not stay because her husband was already calling for her to hurry.

"I came to give you this express. We must leave soon."

Elizabeth accepted it warily and immediately recognized the handwriting, having just reread a letter from the same hand. She felt incredulous that he would disregard propriety once again and send her another letter. This time, there was a witness to her receiving the letter in the express rider and any servant who opened the door for him. Her heart sank, but she muttered a small thank you to her kind friend.

Charlotte's curiosity was palpable, and Elizabeth grieved that she did not feel up to confiding in her. Charlotte had been everything generous towards her on this visit. Thankfully, Charlotte only replied. "All will be well. You must see that."

Though she would have rather cried, she smiled reassuringly at Charlotte. "I hope you are right. Do not worry about me. I shall be well tomorrow."

"That is good to hear, Eliza. I wish to be brought into your confidences tomorrow as well. I have been a patient friend for long enough, and now, I wish to be satisfied."

"Yes, Charlotte." Elizabeth only turned away from Charlotte, who quietly left the room.

This time, Elizabeth dug into the letter immediately. Her curiosity could not be sated, although she knew it was improper. The letter was short and to the purpose.

**Dear Ms. Elizabeth Bennet,**

**I have just come from Longbourn after speaking with your father. He gave me his consent to marry you, although he was unwelcoming of my suit. I understand that this was not your wish, but I could not leave you after you were compromised. You have my sincerest apologies for that action, although I cannot bring myself to regret it. As is the custom, you may set the wedding date, and I will do as much as possible to accommodate your preference whether the date is soon or far away.**

**If you wish for me to return to Kent, simply send a letter to the address on the front of this letter. If not, I will respect your need for space, although I hope to call on you when you arrive in London. I pray that we can be happy together despite our differences. I will always strive to make you happy.**

**Yours, **

**Fitzwilliam Darcy**

Elizabeth was shaking by the time she finished the letter, although she could not say if it was from fear, relief, or anger. Perhaps it was from a mixture of the three. Of all the things she thought he might say, this was not one of them. He had more honor than she had given her credit for. She suddenly realized that her future was not as bleak as she had assumed. While she would marry him, she could retain respectability. After all, it was proper to be kissed by your betrothed in private. _Her betrothed._ It sounded so strange.

When she becomes his wife, she would need to accept even more attention from him. She shuddered as she thought of kissing him again. A heat began to stir inside her again, although it was not out of anger this time. She looked toward the window, hoping to be able to go for a walk. The light outside was fading, but Elizabeth still donned her walking shoes and stepped outside. The cool evening air was a balm to her spirits.

After fifteen minutes of forcing her mind to observe the trees around her, she brought her thoughts back to the contents of the letter. So far, she had only thought about what the words meant for her. Now she thought of what they meant for Mr. Darcy. He was a proud man, but none of his letter displayed that pride. He was wounded. He sounded more like he had lost control. Indeed, he had granted her control over setting the date of the wedding.

She thought back to the walk where she had met Colonel Fitzwilliam in the grove. He had come to Rosings at Mr. Darcy's pleasure, and would stay until Mr. Darcy was ready to leave. Elizabeth had laughed and said that Mr. Darcy should marry to retain a lasting convenience of that kind. She would be that lasting convenience now. Colonel Fitzwilliam had replied that any woman would be happy to marry his cousin. Hopefully, he would be proven correct.

That brought the memory of Mr. Darcy's walk with her a few days before that walk. Mr. Darcy had implied that the next time she visited Kent, she would stay at Rosings. _Had he then been planning to propose?_ She had laughed off his words at the time.

A few clouds passed, allowing the moon to suddenly shine down on Elizabeth. The brightness reminded her that she should return to the house. If the moon were to disappear, it would now be too dark to find the house. A few turns in the path brought her within view of the house, and she could see a light shining from a downstairs window. Perhaps Charlotte had left a light on for Elizabeth's use, should Elizabeth leave her room. Elizabeth sighed. Charlotte was too good. Now was the time for Elizabeth to confide in her friend. At least, now she knew what the future held for her.

Elizabeth was not in the house for fifteen minutes before Charlotte and the others returned. She had reread the note, and she could easily read another character trait she thought Mr. Darcy completely lacked: humility. He had humbled himself before her. She sat in the parlor until the others retired, and Charlotte descended the stairs for one last check of the house.

"I did not think you would be here. Are you hungry?"

"No. I wanted to apologize for my allusiveness. My only excuse is that I thought myself unworthy of your attention."

Charlotte eyed Elizabeth carefully before responding. "You only flame my curiosity more with speeches like that. You must be plain. What has happened? Start at the beginning as soon as I have prepared some tea." She left the room and returned shortly after with a well laden tea tray. "There now, you may begin."

Elizabeth thought for a moment. _Where was the beginning?_ "I suppose it all started a few days ago. Remember that you had hinted to me that Mr. Darcy might be interested in me. I am sorry to say I did not give you credit. On one of our walks, he met me, and he hinted that one day I would visit Rosings as a guest of his aunt's, but I did not believe him to be in earnest. I should have paid more attention." She scoffed, but only for a moment did her story pause. She thought about describing what she knew about Jane and Mr. Bingley, but decided against it. It would not do to speak disparagingly of her future husband. "He visited after you left for the parsonage two days ago."

Now Elizabeth felt she could not speak. How could she describe his emotions and her terrible words? Thankfully, Charlotte rescued her. "He asked you to marry him." She stated plainly.

"Yes, he did. It was the most I had ever heard him speak at one time. He was very eloquent, at first."

"You do not sound elated. Did you argue with him?"

Elizabeth turned away slightly. "I did more than that. I said I hated him. I blamed him for many things. I left feeling miserable for allowing my behavior to run away with me so. That is why I was so dejected."

"I could tell you were unhappy. But what about the next morning, when he came again? You had a change of heart, did you not?"

"No, I did not. I regretted my words. He had come to give me a letter, explaining what he could not say to me before. He was in so much pain, it only made me hate myself more for what I had said, but I did not take back my words. I do not know what made him kiss me, but it was very short. I was too startled to react. And then you came and saw me. I thought I was ruined. I fled in disgrace, certain I would never have your company again."

"Then you were unaware of what he said to my husband. That explains why you were so upset these past days."

"I never thought he would speak to you. What did he say?" Elizabeth suddenly sounded eager for more information.

Charlotte smiled kindly. "He knew he had ruined you. He called you his betrothed, and asked that we not disturb you." Elizabeth gasped, but Charlotte continued. "He also insisted that my husband remain silent about the event. He threatened Lady Catherine's wrath should William tell her himself what had happened. He also said he would return after he had obtained Mr. Bennet's consent."

"No, he will not return. His letter that came today said that he would only return if I write to him to ask him to. He sounded very humble."

Charlotte laughed, glad to find some levity in their talk. "That is the first time anyone has ever described him so, Eliza. I believe you will be the making of him."

"I doubt that, Charlotte. It seems so strange to think I will be marrying him."

"It is not that strange to me. As you said, I noticed his behavior many times before. I think he has loved you since you were together in Hertfordshire. Besides, I thought all these two days that you _were_ engaged, although I did not know why you would be so upset about accepting a proposal from so great a man. It did not occur to me that he might have fabricated your accpetance to save your reputation."

"You were certain I would accept him!" Elizabeth exclaimed as she stared at Charlotte as if seeing her for the first time.

"Of course, I thought so. He would be an excellent match for you. He is intelligent, rich, handsome, well-bred, and most of all, completely besotted with you. I know you do not love him yet, and you were determined to marry for love, but I thought those traits would put him on your good side soon enough. I am amazed at how wrong I was."

"He thought so, too."

"You must have hurt him very much, then."

"I did not mean to. But I felt I could not be happy with him."

"And what do you feel now, my dear?" Charlotte probed.

"I do not know how I feel towards him. I am only just realizing from his letters that I barely know him. I am determined, however, not to make myself miserable for the rest of my life. I cannot refuse him now, so I must make the most of it. I shall cherish the next few days with you and your sister. I do not know how soon we may meet again. Live one day at a time, as the saying goes."

Charlotte heartily agreed before announcing that it was well past time to be abed. The two friends who had been close for as long as either could remember embraced tightly before retiring to their own chambers. Elizabeth slept much better that night. The next morning, Elizabeth made good on her promise to be cheerful. She spent the entire day with Maria and Charlotte. The next four days passed similarly. Once, they went to Rosings, and Elizabeth remained at Maria's side and helped her through the evening. Finally, the day came for her and Maria to return to London.


	5. 5a: The Return to London

**Chapter 5: Resolving Obstacles**

Elizabeth sat with Maria in the carriage, and while the latter was reliving her fondest memories of their trip, the former sat in dread of what lied ahead for her. He had promised not to begrudge a long engagement and that he would not burden her with his company when she did not wish for it, but that was impractical. She could not hide from her fate. At least he had been honorable enough to act as he had. If only his honor had kicked in sooner, perhaps all of this would have been avoided.

As much as she tried to distract herself from these thoughts, they always returned. Her lost chances were always in the back of her mind, but she tried very hard to keep her distress from Maria. She was too young and innocent to share burdens with. So far, Maria only knew that Elizabeth was engaged to Mr. Darcy, and that they must keep it quiet for a time until Mr. Bennet's consent was obtained. She thought a secret engagement was terribly romantic, and she wholeheartedly agreed stay quiet.

The coach encountered no difficulties, and they made excellent time to London's main throughway. There, a hackney picked them up immediately. They arrived at Gracechurch Street ten minutes early. Therefore, the children were still in the back of the house with their nanny and Elizabeth had her first ever quiet entry into the house. She and Maria were shown into the parlor where Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner had been reading quietly.

Mr. Gardiner began before they had taken two steps into the room. "Lizzy! Maria! We did not expect you to be early. The roads from Rosings must be very good, indeed." He jumped up and tightly embraced his favorite niece. "I am overjoyed to see you again. One night was not enough on your last visit. At least you will stay much longer now. I will get some more tickets to the theater again, if I can." He finally released Elizabeth and took notice of Maria. "It is good to see you again, Miss Lucas."

Maria curtseyed and replied, "Thank you, Mr. Gardiner, for letting me stay as well."

Mrs. Gardiner stepped in, having followed her husband, now took her share of the conversation. "The children will be thrilled to see you, and I am too, Lizzy. I know how much you enjoy surprising them. How about we go up and sneak in on their lessons? They will be finished in just another minute or two."

Elizabeth laughed. "That sounds like a fantastic plan." She turned on the spot and skipped up the stairs. When she reached the top, she quietly tip-toed down the hall. She paused at the last door, where she could hear little Edward reciting his alphabet. As soon as she finished, she opened the door and clapped her hands together. "You were perfect, my little Eddie! I am so proud of you."

The five year-old boy had been standing in the center of the room with his back to the door, and he jumped a foot in surprise. "Lizzy!" he exclaimed and ran to her, wrapping his little arms firmly around her waist. He buried his head in the folds of her dress. "I practiced and practiced for you, Lizzy."

Elizabeth gently pulled him away. The other boy and two girls were waiting patiently, but Elizabeth knew that would not last. "I can see that Eddie. You practiced just like I told you to. I am very proud of you. Susan, Joseph, Beth, it is good to see you again too."

At this welcome, the three burst onto Elizabeth with as much force as Eddie had used. With the welcomes completed, the nanny was dismissed, and the small party moved to the parlor speaking animatedly the entire time. Children always feel that every piece of news must be told within the first minutes of encountering a friend. The commotion woke Jane from her nap, and she quietly joined the throng heading downstairs.

Thankfully, the children were also happy to see Maria, so Elizabeth was able to greet her sister in peace for a few minutes. "Oh, Jane! It is good to see you looking so well. I have so much to tell you when we have a moment alone. I need your sense and tranquility to calm my thoughts."

"Certainly, I will be at your disposal whenever I can. I am thrilled to have your company again as well, although my aunt and uncle have been excellent hosts. I believe it is time for a walk first. The children will not stand for anything else, after having been cooped up in the nursery for so long."

Elizabeth agreed and made the suggestion to the children. They whooped and hollered loud enough for everyone to hear from a mile away. They ran to the kitchen to grab their new kites and were only delayed by Jane's insistence that they all wear overcoats, including Elizabeth.

Remarkably, it was little Edward who hustled them through the task. "My kite will not wait forever!" He insisted. Sitting through his lessons was hard enough, but delaying his outing to the park was insufferable. Thankfully, his siblings listened to him, even though they were older than him.

The park was just what Elizabeth had wished for after being cramped into a carriage for so long. She was exhausted from the trip, but her muscles begged for the release and woke to her need for running with alacrity. Her cousins did their best to keep up with her, and Jane followed sedately behind with Mrs. Gardiner.

The rest of the day passed pleasantly and that evening, Mr. Gardiner read to the group from a new novel that had just become available that day. While it was not strictly proper to enjoy such reading, surrounded by women, he had long ago given up with propriety and indulged their whims, especially since the book was a simple romance, and not a racy seduction novel that some authors write.

Many times, Elizabeth thought about enlightening her aunt and uncle about her betrothal. The topic was innocently broached many times, but Elizabeth kept silent. After the third hint, she decided it was Jane's right to hear the story first. She needed Jane's soothing manner and calm spirits. That evening, after they retired, Jane patiently listened to Elizabeth's story. She began at the beginning of her journey to Kent, and it was some minutes before Mr. Darcy was even brought into the story. Elizabeth consciously delayed mentioning him, but Jane noticed something was distressing her sister long before Elizabeth arrived at the juiciest part of the tale.

In all Jane's imaginings, she could easily believe that someone as intelligent as Mr. Darcy could fall in love with her dearest sister. She also knew that Elizabeth would turn him down. When Elizabeth paused, Jane intervened. "It is too bad that he expressed himself so. He must regret it very much. Hopefully, he will recover soon, and find a wife who can love him as he deserves."

Elizabeth, feeling lighter already despite not having told of the kiss or letters, laughed openly. "I doubt that is possible, wait until I tell you all I have to tell. He called at the parsonage the next morning, to deliver a letter explaining himself. I do not know what made him stay as long as he did, but he seemed worried for my health. I was regretting my harsh words, and I was still so shocked at his declaration that I had not said a word to him."

Jane listened in amazement. Elizabeth haphazardly explained how he had touched her shoulder and then kissed her. She faltered as she remembered the touch of his lips. Secretly, she admitted that the kiss felt just like they were described in the other novels, even though she had not asked for or welcomed it. She had to concentrate to move the tale forward. "Then, Mr. and Mrs. Collins came out of the house and saw us. I felt completely shamed. I noticed his letter, and I grabbed it as I fled for my room. I felt dirty and that I could not thrust my company on them, so I mostly stayed on my walks and in my room that day and the next." She continued to describe how she dwelt on Mr. Darcy's first letter, detailing only the part about Mr. Wickham's behaviors, and then her feelings as the second letter arrived. When she finished, she described her reaction to Charlotte's information. "Since I did not speak to anyone of anything important, I did not know what had happened, but Charlotte said that he declared us to be engaged and ordered them to secrecy to avoid Lady Catherine's wrath. I thought he would congratulate himself on his victory and leave me alone forever. That all changed when he wrote me another letter. His first letter I read over and over again. I want your opinion on how to understand that also."

She quickly moved to her trunk and produced the parts of the letter that did not describe Jane and Mr. Bingley. She read them aloud to Jane, who was more patient than Elizabeth felt she deserved. Jane was nearly in tears by the end of the letter, such was her distress at Miss Darcy's near elopement. After everything Elizabeth had been through, this was just one step too far. "We have thought so well of Mr. Wickham, it is hard to think him capable of such a scheme. The poor girl, and she was only fifteen, too."

"I wanted to disbelieve it, but he would never fabricate such a story. If it got out, it would ruin his sister. He would never risk it. It must be true, but I did not wish to give him credit. I was angry at him for what he did. I wish I had spoken with Charlotte sooner. I had no idea he would rescue my reputation. He is a much better man than I ever gave him credit for."

Jane took Elizabeth's hand gently. "Does he really intend to marry you? What was in his second letter?"

"I hardly know what to make of it, other than to say that yes, he does intend to marry me. He has already spoken with Papa." She handed Jane the second letter. Since it was short, she finished very quickly.

"Poor Mr. Darcy! He went to our father already. Oh, Lizzy! You must believe that all will be well now. He will always take care of you. He is so distressed by these events. I have never seen a better declaration of love than this. To love and care for someone who does not return his affection must be very difficult."

Elizabeth sighed. She had thought the same frequently, although she thought of her own distress more often. "I hardly know what to think. I barely know him at all."

"Can you learn to love him?"

"I have no option but to try to love him, if I ever wish to be happy again. It seems so strange. I can see now that I barely know him. I cannot believe how I trusted Mr. Wickham's words, for now I can see how improper it was for him to tell me his story the first time we met. He even said feelings for the father would prevent him from exposing the son, and yet as soon as Mr. Darcy was out of Hertfordshire, the entire village knew of Mr. Darcy's supposedly bad actions. I am ashamed to think of it."

"Lizzy, we all make mistakes. Take heart that you can fix your mistake the next time you see him. Have you written to him?"

Elizabeth paused to gather her thoughts. "No. I have no notion of what I should say. I cannot lie to him and say that I welcome his attention when I wish him miles away. This was not my desire, and I cannot forget that he forced my hand, even if it was a mistake on his part."

"No, you must not lie. He is very honorable and would not wish for it. He knows your opinion of him." Jane agreed readily. "There is however, something you can do. You can thank him for his actions to save your reputation. Give him a chance to show his true character. Would you like for me to help you write the letter tomorrow? It is too late to write tonight."

"Yes, Jane. I would appreciate your help. I honestly cannot say what my feelings are at present. I spent two days hating the very thought of him and thinking my life was ruined. The relief I felt upon reading his letter will not be soon forgotten, although it was some time before I was cognizant of the relief I felt."

Their discussion was interrupted by their cousins barging in to say goodnight. Half an hour later, each sister was in bed, quietly thinking over the discussion. Elizabeth could think more clearly now than she had done the past week. For the first time, she acknowledged that Mr. Darcy had made a mistake in kissing her. He loved her and had wished for the kiss, in all likelihood, but he had not intended to act upon it. If she had accepted him, that would not have been their first kiss. She wondered what he might be feeling.

One mistake changed his life. He knew now that she hated him. She thought of the pain she witnessed on his face before the kiss. _How might he be faring now, knowing he had stolen her future? _There was only one way to find out. She must write to him and invite him to Gracechurch Street. _Perhaps he would call with Mr. Bingley._ She smiled and closed her eyes, determined not to think on it again until morning.


	6. 5b: Mr Darcy Speaks with Mr Bingley

**Chapter 5b: Mr. Darcy Speaks with Mr. Bingley**

Mr. Darcy climbed out of bed at his usual hour, although he had barely managed to sleep much. His dreams haunted him. Gone was the charming, pleasing Elizabeth who accepted his advances in his former dreams. Now, she lashed out at him, blaming him for everything he had done. It was too close to the truth.

Nearly a week had passed since he had sent the express, and he had received no response. He went through the motions of shaving and dressing, glad that his valet was not under the same stupor as he was. Looking impeccable as always, he descended the stairs to find breakfast prepared. He ate in silence, barely noticing the meal beyond his need for sustenance. When his sister joined him midway through his plate, he rose and greeted her politely.

"Good morning, brother." She muttered lazily. Her constitution was best in the afternoon and evening. If her brother had not required her to rise for breakfast each day, she would never have ventured out before noon. She collected a plate from the sidebar and selected a seat far from her too-well-awoken brother.

Thankfully for her, Mr. Darcy was too distracted by his thoughts to bother her with his conversation. Normally they would speak of their plans for the day, even though the plans rarely changed. Georgiana recognized the silence in her brother but was too pleased with the result to risk breaking it.

He had not yet told her of his engagement, deciding it would be better to delay until he had seen Elizabeth at least once to gauge her response. Then he would know what to tell Georgiana, or so he thought.

A servant entered midway through the meal carrying a tray with the morning post. Mr. Darcy leafed through the letters impatiently, gasping aloud when he found a letter written in a feminine hand that he did not recognize. In his eagerness, he forgot to dismiss the servant who stood awkwardly at attention, wondering what he should do. Georgiana took notice of the situation and gave him permission to return to his duties.

The servant did not walk ten paces when Mr. Darcy called him back, having quickly read the short note and sprung to his feet. "Hold on there, Hughes. Have the carriage ready in half an hour. I must call on Mr. Bingley." He barely waited for the servant to agree before he darted out of the room. Once he reached his study, he claimed his desk and took up a fresh piece of paper to write a quick response to Elizabeth.

Having placed the paper in front of him, he no longer knew what to say. He turned back to Elizabeth's letter. It thrilled him that she took the step, despite its brevity, to acknowledge their engagement. This single act gave him more hope than he thought possible. He read through it once more.

**_Dear Mr. Darcy,_**

**_I have read both of your letters several times through. I was mistaken in my judgment of you and you have my humblest apologies for those accusations I threw at you. I was unjust, and my words were untrue. Like you, I wish for this to work. Forever is a very long time._**

**_While I cannot pretend to be happy about these circumstances, I thank you for saving my reputation. You are very honorable in all of your dealings. I shall try to be grateful. You may call at your earliest convenience. We currently have no fixed engagements in the mornings this week._**

**_Yours,_**

**_Elizabeth Bennet_**

**_P.S. I am adding this part myself. My sister, Jane, helped me with the paragraphs above. You owe most of my tranquility to her, for she has helped me to see what I must do. You were wrong about her affections toward your friend. She is very guarded by nature, much like you. Can you really be surprised by this? You know my family's ways, as you described very accurately in your first letter. If she had been less guarded with her affections, I shudder to think of what you would have been forced to witness from my mother._**

**_If you truly wish for my happiness, you will correct your error. I cannot be happy knowing she suffers. You hinted that your friend still felt dejected, similar to what my sister feels now. If that is true, encourage him to seek her out again. Miss Bingley knows where we now reside, for she came here once to cut the one person she claimed months ago to care for. I am not telling you to make him marry her. I only wish for her to have a chance at love and for him to make up his own mind. _**

Mr. Darcy put the letter down on the table. She gave him a chance. He looked back down at his blank piece of paper and realized he had nothing to say, yet. He read through the note once again. There was a very stark difference between the letter and the postscript. Jane had always appeared serene and calm, as though nothing ever affected her. Even without seeing her, he recognized his error. Elizabeth had compared Jane to him. _How could I be so blind as to see only what I desire? Of course, I am blind. I had deluded myself into thinking Elizabeth loved me and was waiting for my suit. How wrong I have been. _His thoughts would have continued in the same vein, but a servant brought him out of his thoughts to announce that the carriage was ready.

The ride was short, which greatly appealed to him. He climbed the stairs, uncertain as to the outcome of this conversation. He had never admitted wrongdoing before, and he felt completely out of his element. A servant opened the door quickly and showed him directly to Mr. Hurst's study, stating that he would fetch Mr. Bingley right away. The servants had all been told by Miss Bingley to take very good care of Mr. Darcy whenever he should come.

Closed in the study, Mr. Darcy looked around. There were a few books scattered on mostly empty shelves, and a desk sat in the center of the room. The desk was grand and clearly expensive, although it was not so imposing as his own. The state of the desktop described how little Mr. Hurst ever conducted business there. He focused his attention on the desk in the hope of clearing his mind of Elizabeth's letter, however, it only served to remind him of his poor judgment. Mr. Bingley entered within five minutes looking thoroughly surprised to see his friend.

"Good morning, Darcy. I did not expect to see you so early. Actually, I did not expect you to come at all."

Mr. Darcy could detect a hidden grogginess as though Bingley had only recently woken up. "I have something important to tell you. In truth, I believe I must confess something important that I have kept hidden for a very long time."

"Oh dear! That sounds serious, but then again, you are always serious." Mr. Bingley slipped into one of the chairs in front of the desk, and Mr. Darcy took the other.

"First off, I must tell you that it was wrong of me to interfere with your relationship with Miss Bennet. I was mistaken to think she did not care for you."

Mr. Bingley, having tried unsuccessfully to keep that woman's picture from his mind, was very quickly completely disheveled. All hints of sleepiness vanished. For a few moments, he could not speak. Finally, he roused himself enough to ask, "How do you know this?"

"I am engaged to marry Miss Elizabeth."

If Mr. Bingley had expected anything, it was not this. "Engaged? When did this happen? I thought she hated you."

Mr. Darcy closed his eyes to remain calm. "It appears that I was the only one who did not perceive her dislike. I met her in Kent while I was visiting my aunt. She was visiting her cousin, Mr. Collins, and his wife, who was formerly Miss Lucas. We have… fixed our misunderstandings and are engaged." A small smile spread over his lips as he spoke of his engagement. While it might not be all that he had hoped for, he would marry the woman of his dreams.

Mr. Bingley barely registered his friend's words as his thoughts swirled around memories of Miss Bennet. A small bubble of hope was rising in his heart, and he felt lightheaded. He had never stopped loving Jane Bennet, even though he had tried to forget her. "So, Miss Elizabeth told you that her sister cares for me."

"Yes."

"Then I must go to Hertfordshire this instant. I will not waste another moment." He rose and was about to ring for the butler when Mr. Darcy stopped him.

"Unfortunately, it is not so easy as that. I have more to tell you and part of it involves your sister."

Mr. Bingley eyed his friend warily. "What has my sister done?"

Mr. Darcy took a deep breath before responding. He knew this was the right thing to do, but that did not make it easy. "First of all, Miss Bennet is in London, residing with her uncle in Cheapside. She traveled here in January. Miss Bingley knows of this. She visited her once with Mrs. Hurst."

"Why did no one tell me of this?" His rising joy was squashed in anger.

"We decided not to tell you because we did not want to hurt you. We worried that you were not recovered enough from your infatuation to safely see her again. Remember, we thought she was a fortune hunter, or at least her mother was. We were wrong." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he could feel a weight lifting off his shoulders.

"Caroline visited her? How did that go? I am assuming she told you."

Once again Mr. Darcy closed his eyes, this time in shame. "Yes, she told me. Miss Bennet called on Miss Bingley in January after sending many notes that your sister pretended she never received. Her goal was to cut Miss Bennet, and by returning the call a month later and acting cold and aloof, she was successful."

"That is terrible! Poor Miss Bennet." His anger forgotten, he sank into a chair once again.

Mr. Darcy felt relieved that Bingley was feeling sad for Miss Bennet. It was better than the alternative of his being angry at him and Miss Bingley, even though he felt he deserved the anger. "If you wish to renew the acquaintance, Miss Bingley will need to remedy the cut first. She must visit her again. Then she can either visit again with you, or she can invite Miss Bennet and her family to dine here."

Mr. Bingley looked closely at his friend. "You have put much thought into this."

"Of course. I would do nothing less."

"My sister is currently breaking her fast with the Hursts. Shall we join them?" Mr. Bingley did not stop for Mr. Darcy's reply. The hope brewing inside him propelled him on. He could not even be angry with his sister when his sweetest dream might come true.

They walked in silence to the dining room. Miss Bingley sat with her sister eagerly talking of fashion. She stopped mid-sentence when she noticed Mr. Darcy enter the room. Mr. Hurst sat at the far side of the table, ignoring the proceedings in favor of his coffee and breakfast.

Miss Bingley recovered from her shock at seeing Mr. Darcy very quickly. She no longer cared for her conversation with her sister. "Welcome to our home, Mr. Darcy. You must be hungry. Please, allow me to fill a plate for you. I know just what you like." She moved to the breakfast bar before Mr. Darcy could even bow in greeting.

Sensing the futility of arguing with her, he chose a seat beside Mr. Hurst. He knew that he would not want to be very close to Miss Bingley when she began her rant about Miss Bennet. He had heard her phrases before, and he was ashamed to admit that he had agreed with her at the time. Miss Bingley placed his plate in front of him, being careful to bend over far enough that he would see down her dress. Unfortunately for her, Mr. Darcy knew to look the other way. Only Mr. Hurst noticed her display, not that it pleased him.

Mr. Darcy very quickly thanked her and tucked into his plate. She had selected very sweet raspberry tarts and the coffee had more sugar than he had ever admitted to liking. He ate slowly and made no sign of distress, grateful that he had already eaten with his sister. He thought he would manage to stay out of the way, but Miss Bingley thwarted his plan by moving her plate and sitting beside him.

Mr. Bingley did not choose to eat and instead claimed the seat across from his sister after taking a cup of coffee. He did not wish to startle her too soon. He needed her to lift the cut. "I have heard that Miss Bennet is in town."

Miss Bingley nearly choked on her tea. "Is she really?"

"Yes, she is. Apparently she has been staying with her aunt and uncle since January, and you even called on her. I wonder at your surprise."

Miss Bingley looked to Mr. Darcy, but he did not display any signs of distress or worry. If she knew him better, she might have noticed a hint of amusement about his mouth. She returned her attention to her brother. "Yes, I called on her in February. It was a nice visit. I was sorry that we did not have more time to spend with her, but, as I recall, Miss Bennet was about to go out shopping. We did not wish to detain her. I have not seen her since, and I had assumed that she had returned to her home."

"Then why did you not invite her to tea before you left? I am certain Mrs. Hurst would not have minded." He glanced at his other sister who was currently playing with her bracelets.

Mrs. Hurst looked up in alarm but made no sign of disagreeing. She knew she could not survive on her husband's salary, and she recognized that she should not disappoint the brother who allowed her to purchase all her jewels on his bill. Thankfully, he did not appear to be overly concerned with her role in the affair. She had not discounted the melancholy state her brother had been in this winter, even if she had agreed with her sister at the time that their brother should not marry Miss Bennet.

Miss Bingley finally recovered from her shock. She relished that her lie was believed, according to her own schemes. She glanced at Mr. Darcy, but he showed no sign of either disgust or appreciation that she could recognize. "I cannot recall why we did not think of it."

"Well then, you can call on her today and invite her to dine here. Would that be acceptable, Louisa?"

Mrs. Hurst thought for a moment. "We could have a dinner on Thursday. I enjoyed Miss Bennet's company and miss her. Should we invite the Gardiners as well, Charles?"

"Yes, and Miss Elizabeth, who I understand is staying there as well."

Mr. Darcy finally spoke up. "Miss Lucas is also residing with them, from my understanding. She was with Miss Elizabeth when they visited the Collinses in Kent."

Miss Bingley snatched onto this quickly, but she could not understand its significance. "Mr. Darcy, did you see them when you were visiting your aunt?"

"Yes, I met with them frequently. I believe my aunt was quite taken with Miss Elizabeth's conversational abilities." It was not quite a falsehood. Lady Catherine had taken to her conversations with alarm more than alacrity, but Miss Bingley did not need to know that.

Miss Bingley nearly choked on her biscuit. "Is that so? Well, we shall invite the whole lot of them, if that is your wish. I do not suppose you would wish to attend the dinner as well, Mr. Darcy."

Mr. Darcy smiled. He would very much enjoy an evening with Miss Elizabeth. "I would be honored to come."

At least Miss Bingley could be certain to be present to watch the interactions between Miss Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. If only they were still at Netherfield where she could be the hostess for the dinner, but it was not to be. Her sister never allowed her to be hostess at their London home. It was not seemly, as Louisa would say.

"Very well. I will call on them this morning, though I doubt she will be home."

Mr. Bingley beamed. "Excellent. I will see them on Thursday, which means I will be able to call at their house in a week."

Mr. Darcy finished his last tart and excused himself, stating he had pressing matters of business to attend. Miss Bingley attempted to detain him, but he refused all of her advances. It was so amusing that Mr. Bingley was laughing heartily by the time Mr. Darcy was able to leave the house. Mrs. Hurst smiled in response. She had not heard her brother laugh much the entire winter. She knew she had made the right move in agreeing to the dinner. Knowing how much must be prepared, she excused herself to speak to the housekeeper and cook.


	7. 6a: Official Consent

**Chapter 6: Mr. Bennet's Official Consent**

Mr. Darcy returned home to find that his solicitor was waiting for him. He quickly adjourned to his study. "Mr. Holmes, welcome. I must have forgotten that we had an appointment for today." He winced as he realized how extraordinary this statement was.

"Good morning, sir. It is my pleasure to wait for you. I must say that your request was most startling to me. You have never shown an interest in marriage settlements before. I congratulate you, and I wish you many happy years together." He paused, eyeing Mr. Darcy carefully. Mr. Holmes had been the family solicitor for a very long time, taking over from his father as a young man. Mr. Darcy and his father had never taken an irrational or hasty step in their lives, which made this current request so strange. "I have made all the changes you requested. Are you certain you wish to be so generous?"

"Speak plainly, Holmes. What is your concern?" Mr. Darcy took the papers and looked them over while Mr. Holmes explained in more detail.

"I used your mother's settlement papers as a guide, as you requested. I fixed the numbers like you requested, and added the house in Hertfordshire. You said this," he paused to look at his notes, "Miss Elizabeth Bennet has no dowry. Mr. Darcy, I must speak plainly. I have known you since you were a boy, and I am worried you are being taken in. There is a lot of money mentioned in this settlement."

Normally, Mr. Darcy would have been outraged. "She is not a fortune hunter. The circumstances are not what I would wish, but I shall marry her. To that end, I must obtain her father's consent. My desire is to impress him. I will not give you more detail than that. You must content yourself that I know what I am about. She is worth every farthing."

"Very well, sir. Is there anything else you need? When will you be shopping for the estate in Hertfordshire?"

"Miss Bennet will begin looking for a suitable estate when she returns to Hertfordshire in a fortnight. Thank you, Mr. Holmes, for your services. I will contact you if I need anything more. I appreciate your concern, and I know your heart is where it should be."

Mr. Holmes bowed and left the room. He had done all he could do.

Mr. Darcy, however, smiled as he looked over the settlement once again. It was true that he had been more generous than the current situation required, but he had felt that he needed to make this statement. He loved Elizabeth and would take care of her. While he had written to Elizabeth that he had obtained Mr. Bennet's permission, in truth, Mr. Bennet desired to see the settlement first. He had promised to give him a copy of the settlement within a week, and his time was almost up.

The butler entered a few minutes later, and Mr. Darcy asked for his carriage to be readied. "Mr. Broderick, thank you for coming in. I must travel to Hertfordshire. I will not return until Monday, since tomorrow is Sunday. Inform Mr. Williams to pack my luggage and see to it that the carriage is ready once again."

"Very good, sir. I will see that everything is ready. An hour should be enough time."

The butler was nearly to the door when Mr. Darcy called him back. "Before you go, I have another request. Ask Mrs. Broderick to prepare the mistress' suite for a new occupant. I want them aired and cleaned before my betrothed comes to visit, hopefully next week. Have her make a list of any items to be replaced."

"May I give you my congratulations, sir?"

"Not yet, please do not mention this to more people than necessary. I am going to Hertfordshire to obtain Mr. Bennet's consent. Until then, this must be kept quiet."

Mr. Broderick bowed and left the room. Knowing all would be prepared quickly, he left to find Georgiana. She needed to know where he was going. He found her practicing the pianoforte in the music room. He listened patiently while she finished the song. She had seen him enter the room, and she smiled as she finished her song and joined him on the sofa.

"What brings you here, Fitzwilliam?"

He smiled, soothed by the warm song and kind voice of his sister. "I must leave soon for Hertfordshire. Since it is late, I will not be able to return today, which means I will return on Monday."

"Very well." Georgiana always acceded to any request her brother ever made. He had been there for her when she needed it most, so she would always be there for him. "Why are you going?"

Mr. Darcy did not reply immediately. "I am going to obtain consent to marry Miss Elizabeth Bennet. You remember her from my letters last fall, do you not?"

Georgiana startled at such an announcement, made in such a serious voice. "You wish to marry her? I thought you liked her. She is the only woman you ever mentioned with any warmth."

"I do like her, very much. She is her in London. When I return, I would like to introduce you to her. Will you be comfortable acting as hostess for me?"

"Yes, I would like to meet her as well. I will be terrified of acting as hostess for you, but it will be good training for when I go out in society next year." She paused for a deep breath. "How soon will you marry?" Georgiana's words were chopped as she attempted to recollect all her brother had said about Miss Elizabeth.

"That has not been decided, but I doubt it will be very soon. We still have many things to work out. Will you like having a sister?"

Georgiana smiled. "I cannot say, for I have never had a sister. The ladies at the finishing school were all so cold in their manners. I could not get close to anyone there. But, from your descriptions, I believe I will like Miss Elizabeth. She seemed very kind and understanding from your letters."

"She is that, and more. She is intelligent, outspoken, lively, witty, and I firmly believe she will make an excellent addition to our family."

"Then I will go with you when you call on her next week. I have no fixed engagements. I should go and speak with Mrs. Broderick. She should know we will be entertaining more frequently soon."

Georgiana skipped out of the room, excited for the future. However, when she saw her brother on his way, she began to worry. _What if Elizabeth does not like me?_ The words repeatedly came to her mind, unbidden and unwelcome.

Mr. Darcy made excellent time, arriving at Longbourn well before dinner-time. Once again, he was shown into the front parlor. This time, he could hear Mrs. Bennet down the hall bemoaning some misfortune or other. Her shrill voice echoed through the halls, and Mr. Darcy wondered how he would survive courting Elizabeth in this house. It seemed insupportable, but he could do nothing about it.

He was shown to the library in good time. This time, he looked around the room before taking his seat. He could smell the rich smell of leather-bound books, and every shelf was full to capacity around the room. There were even stacks of books next to the sofa by the fireplace. The library was clearly frequently used for reading. The desk, however, was also cluttered with books. There were a few ledgers sitting out, but they all had a book sitting atop them, indicating the little business Mr. Bennet tended to.

Mr. Bennet was not so interested in the library. He could sense the change in Mr. Darcy's stance. Gone was some of the pride and arrogance he had seen before. Therefore, his greeting was kinder than he had planned it to be. "Good afternoon, Mr. Darcy. I trust you are well."

Mr. Darcy refocused his attention on his host. "Good afternoon, Mr. Bennet. I have the settlement papers for you here." He immediately pulled them out and set them on the desk before realizing he had not answered Mr. Bennet's inquiry. "I am well, thank you." He muttered, as an afterthought.

Mr. Bennet chuckled slightly at his guest's response and agitation. He could not keep his amusement intact when he read through the papers. "This is very generous, sir."

"It is no more than she deserves."

"I agree with you. I had always hoped she would marry very well. Now, it seems I need only worry about her happiness. Are you really going to purchase an estate in Hertfordshire?"

"Yes. We will start looking around as soon as may be. It is important that Elizabeth is taken care of. If something were to happen to me before we have children, the estate and all my current properties will pass to Georgiana. Elizabeth would be allowed to stay in the dowager house at Pemberley, but I doubt she would prefer it. I would rather she inherit an estate that is her own and have her choice of homes."

Mr. Bennet thought for a very long while. He appreciated this thoughtfulness, but it was not in his nature to describe it. "That is the longest speech I have heard you utter, and I must congratulate you on your eloquence. I suppose another use of the estate in Hertfordshire would be to create a home for my wife and any remaining children who have not married when I die."

"That is a possibility. I would ensure my wife's family is always taken care of."

"Very good. Where is my pen? I will sign this immediately. Have you two set a date for the wedding?" He asked the last question while searching for his quill, which had not gone very far. As he looked down at the last part of the settlement papers, he realized how much better Mr. Darcy could provide for Elizabeth than he had ever done for his family. With this much money, Mr. Darcy could never be described as indolent or idle.

"No date has been decided on. Miss Elizabeth will decide when we marry." Mr. Darcy watched as Mr. Bennet signed both copies of the paper and handed one copy over to him. His smile grew knowing that this obstacle was surmounted.

They were saved from finding more to say by Mrs. Bennet barging into the room. "Mr. Bennet, you will come to the sitting room this instant. We cannot wait dinner… oh, Mr. Darcy." She stopped short, staring open mouthed at their guest. It was clear that Mr. Bennet had not informed the house of his intended visit. "Welcome to our home. I did not know you were here, or I would never have dreamed of interrupting you. Will you stay for dinner?" Immediately, her thoughts were on Mr. Bingley, and wondered if Mr. Darcy were here on some business for him.

"Thank you, but I should continue to the inn in Meryton before dark. It is too late for me to return to London today."

Mrs. Bennet scoffed forcefully. "No, no, Mr. Darcy. We have a room here for you. The Meryton inn is not supplied well enough for company such as yourself. Stay for dinner, and you can tell us of events in London."

Mr. Bennet seconded his wife's offer, and Mr. Darcy felt he could not refuse. He remembered very well how terrible he had slept at the inn and had not looked forward to another two nights in the same bed. He followed Mrs. Bennet into the sitting room and found three girls waiting for them in their own way. Lydia and Kitty sat together giggling and complaining of hunger pains. Mary sat in a corner reading Fordyce's Sermons.

Lydia was the first to notice Mr. Darcy. She gasped in surprise, thus alerting her sisters to his presence. Kitty and Mary recovered first and rose to greet their guest. Lydia only barely nodded at him. She did not want to show him any attention after how despicably she thought he had acted towards her favorite militia man.

Dinner passed slowly. Mrs. Bennet spoke mainly to her two youngest daughters, although she occasionally drew Mr. Darcy into the conversation by asking how Mr. Bingley and his sisters fared in London. He could barely answer with more than a few words here and there because he could rarely think of anything appropriate to say. Mr. Bennet chuckled frequently throughout the meal.

When they returned to the sitting room, Mr. Bennet decided to out Mr. Darcy's purpose in coming to Longbourn. It all came about when Mrs. Bennet respectfully hinted that her eldest daughter had been neglected by her admirers.

"Mrs. Bennet, you must not worry about your eldest daughter. Lizzy will see to it that Jane is well cared for by the right person."

Mr. Darcy choked at hearing how close to the truth this statement truly was. Therefore, Mrs. Bennet had to hold back her retort for a few seconds. "What can Lizzy have to do with this? She is insistent that she will never marry."

"For Mr. Darcy's sake, I am glad to report that you are wrong in your assessment of her."

"What do you mean? Surely, if she could not accept Mr. Collins, who suited her very well, she could not attract anyone like Mr. Darcy."

Mr. Bennet laughed. "And yet, she has done just that. I signed the marriage settlement this afternoon." He paused for effect. His wife only gaped at him, unable to comprehend the importance of the conversation. "Lizzy will now have at her disposal each month twice your current annual pin money, or, at least, she will as soon as she sets the date for the wedding."

Lydia squealed in delight. "Oh, I wish I might catch a man who would shower me with money."

Finally, Mrs. Bennet came out of her stupor. "Mr. Darcy is to marry Lizzy?"

"Yes, he is. The papers were signed today." Mr. Bennet repeated.

Mrs. Bennet turned to Mr. Darcy, thankfully keeping her mouth shut at last. It was another minute before she rose and walked over to him. "Oh, Mr. Darcy. Thank you for choosing my Lizzy. She will be a good wife to you. I have taught her everything she knows." She then turned around and continued as though she had already left the room. "Ten thousand a year and very likely more. What pin money she will have! _And carriages._ Surely he will buy her a new carriage for the wedding. That is the fashion." She made her way back to her seat and sat down gracefully. She then turned again to Mr. Darcy. "I hope you will forgive me for having disliked you so much before."

Mr. Darcy, too surprised to speak, only nodded. It seemed he had been totally ignorant of the enmity he had faced during his previous visit.

After ten minutes of answering Lydia and Mrs. Bennets questions and comments, Mr. Bennet rescued his future son-in-law and stated that the man must be tired after his long journey. While he was not very tired, he was glad to retire to the quiet of the guest room. Mr. Bennet showed him the way, and before leaving the room stated, "After church services, you may read with me in the library. You have suffered enough commotion in this house to last you a year or more, I dare say. But you have done very well. Lizzy would be proud, I believe. Goodnight."

"Thank you, Mr. Bennet. Before you go, however, I have one more question. Why did you not mention the estate I plan to purchase to Mrs. Bennet? You described almost every other detail of the settlement."

Mr. Bennet smiled. "I did that because I know my wife. It should be Lizzy who selects which house you purchase, not her. If we tell her about it before the sale, she will go around immediately and buy her own house regardless of Lizzy's opinion on the matter." He turned and walked away before Mr. Darcy could respond.


	8. 6b: Official Consent part 2

**Chapter 6b: Official Consent part 2**

Miss Bingley's carriage stopped in front of the correct house on Gracechurch Street, but she did not immediately descend. After a long conversation with her sister, she understood that their plans were amiss. She was confused and angry, but if her brother thought that she did not fully remove the cut she had given Jane, he would never give her another penny. Especially since her brother was her only social link to Mr. Darcy, she needed to keep her brother appeased. Her only consolation was that Mr. Darcy seemed pleased by her renewal of attentions to the Bennets.

A servant opened the door and held out his hand, and she accepted it with barely a thought and climbed the steps to the front door. Ringing the doorbell, she was pleased to note that the stairs were clean and tidy. The door opened, and she gave her card to the butler to ask if Miss Jane Bennet was receiving callers. She was led to a small sitting room in the front of the house, since he had no orders to deny anyone entrance. The butler left her alone in the sitting room to stew over the fact that much of the furniture was nicer than the furniture in her sister's home.

In the other room, Jane turned pale as she read the card, not knowing what to think.

Elizabeth noticed something was amiss and came around to read the card. "Miss Bingley has come to call. How extraordinary!" She blushed as the realized this must be Mr. Darcy's doing.

"Elizabeth, will you come with me. I…" Jane stuttered. "I do not believe that I can meet her with equanimity. What can she be about after all this time?"

Elizabeth smiled. "Of course, I will come. She must have come to her senses. I knew that she would. No one could resist your friendship. Come, we must not keep her waiting." She rose very quickly and took Jane's hand before she could refuse. This surprised Jane enough to add a glow to her cheeks and a smile to her lips. The two sisters entered the sitting room together.

Miss Bingley plastered a fake smile to her lips and curtseyed in greeting. "My dear Jane, it is so good to see you again." Taking her seat again, she began her rehearsed explanation. "I was so sorry that our last call was so short. We had just received some sad news from our relatives in the north, and we were not ourselves. We would have called again, but we assumed you had returned home. I was so pleased when Mr. Darcy mentioned you were still here this morning. As you can see, I rushed over to pay my respects. In fact, I also wish to invite you to dinner on Thursday at Mrs. Hurst's home. Your aunt and uncle are to be invited as well."

It was all out so fast that only Elizabeth could digest the entirety of the speech. It was as she had predicted, Mr. Darcy used his sway with the Bingleys to bring this change about. She smiled slightly. He really is a good man. Such thoughts were best saved for later, however, so she returned her guest's politeness. "Thank you for the invitation. If you will excuse me, I will go ask if my aunt has any plans for that evening."

Elizabeth excused herself and went to find her aunt. As expected, they had no fixed engagements, but Mrs. Gardiner was apprehensive about attending a dinner with the Bingleys. "Why is Miss Bingley here? She made it clear as day that she did not desire Jane's company in February."

"Yes, she did. However, she is here now and is making amends for that by inviting us to dinner with at the Hurst's home. She says that she had been disturbed that day because of bad news from a relative in the north." As Elizabeth spoke, she attempted to appear calm, but her insides were dancing in circles. She knew the only reason Miss Bingley was here was because of Mr. Darcy, and his only reason was to please herself.

Mrs. Gardiner thought for a moment. It was clear to her that her niece was hiding something, but she wisely decided to let it pass. "Very well, I will join you in the parlor and we shall attend the dinner, for Jane's sake."

Elizabeth was so happy that she hugged her aunt. "Thank you."

"Lizzy, what has gotten into you? Why is this so important? You never cared before."

"I cannot comprehend your questions, Aunt. I have always cared about Jane's happiness. This appears to be the first step in that direction in a very long time. You must remember that you did not see her with Mr. Bingley. They were in love. I am certain of that."

"Lizzy, I must caution you. Do not encourage your sister to feel more than she does. It could all end up as nothing, after all. We do not want to renew her heartache. I know how you can sometimes get carried away. Now, we are free on Thursday, so we can attend the dinner. Let their behavior be your guide and do not encourage your sister."

"Yes, Aunt Magdalene, I promise." Elizabeth walked away quickly followed by her aunt. She knew she was susceptible to saying more than she thought acceptable. Part of her wanted to tell her aunt and uncle about Mr. Darcy, but the stronger part of her was afraid of acknowledging it openly too soon. Jane had said she was being ridiculous in desiring the secrecy but acquiesced. Jane had never been able to deny Elizabeth anything before, and now was no different.

Elizabeth opened the door to the parlor to find Jane listening patiently to Miss Bingley describe one of her shopping expeditions. Knowing her sister would have no interest in this conversation, she took her seat and began talking at the first opening. "My aunt says we have no engagements that evening, so we will all be able to join you and your sister."

The clock on the mantle chimed the half hour, bringing new life to Miss Bingley. It was almost as though she were waiting for it. "That is wonderful. My brother will be so happy to see you again. Well, I should be going. I have to help my sister prepare for our evenings out. She picks the most dreadful jewelry when I am not there to help her." She was almost at the door before she remembered her manners and curtseyed to her hosts. "Thank you for the simulating company. Until we meet again." Then she stepped through the door with a huff. As the door shut, Elizabeth could hear her muttering something along the lines of _worst thirty minutes of my life_.

Elizabeth could not help laughing."Well, she most certainly enjoyed her visit today. I wonder what could have made her come."

Jane sighed. "I wonder, indeed. Lizzy, did you tell Mr. Darcy about her visits to me this previous winter?" While her tone was not accusatory, it was more so than she had ever used before.

Now was Mrs. Gardiner's turn to be intrigued by the conversation. This was what she had been waiting for.

Elizabeth did not respond immediately, but when she did, she spoke eloquently. "He frequently met me on my walks in Kent, and we needed something to talk about. I might have mentioned her coldness towards you. I did not say much, but enough to let him know my thoughts on the matter."

"Lizzy, I wish you had not done so. She was very uncomfortable." Only Jane could be concerned for such a cold and uncaring person like Caroline Bingley.

"Do not tell me that I should be concerned for her, Jane. It is her own doing that she is correcting. She ought not to have meddled and cut your friendship at all. She was the one who encouraged your attention. It was very rude of her. She is paying for her own cruel treatment."

Jane stood as sternly as her serene countenance could manage, and Elizabeth faltered. "I am not sorry for what I have done, but I promise not to interfere again. Will that soothe your conscience?"

Jane immediately smiled and embraced her sister. "Yes, it does. Now, I believe you should tell me more about what you really did say to him."

Mrs. Gardiner interrupted the conversation with, "Yes, that sounds like an excellent idea. Lizzy, I believe you have much to tell us."

Elizabeth bowed her head in thought. "He must have been very bored to have sought my attention so much, Aunt. He met me on my walks almost every day and walked me back to the parsonage. He was usually very silent. On the last day, however, I met his cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, instead. I am not sure what his motives were, but he told me that Mr. Darcy prided himself on his strong, loyal friendships. Apparently, Mr. Darcy rejoiced in separating his friend from a fortune hunter last autumn. I was so angry." She paused, but the other occupants of the room were too shocked to respond.

After a deep breath she continued. "The next time I met Mr. Darcy, I told him what I thought. He admitted that he had worked with Miss Bingley to make Mr. Bingley doubt his affection for you and yours for him. I said you were shy, Jane, and definitely not a fortune hunter. I asked him to withdraw his disapproval of you, nothing more. It is up to you and Mr. Bingley whether you become engaged or not, which is exactly as it should be. Mr. Darcy promised not to intervene again."

Mrs. Gardiner was first in her ability to recover. "Elizabeth Bennet! That was very inappropriate. Mr. Darcy is close to nobility. You should not have said such a thing. What must he think of you?"

Elizabeth meekly stated, "I was angry."

Jane thankfully, was capable of replying. "I think that we should not worry about what Mr. Darcy thinks of Elizabeth. Lizzy, you should not have been so forward."

Elizabeth quickly grew defensive. "If I had not, then other people would have determined your fate. It is now as it should be, in the hands of the principal party. I did not ask him or anyone to make him propose to you. I only asked him to allow his friend the power of choice. I believe it is time for me to teach Susan to play the pianoforte. If you will excuse me," she curtseyed delicately and left the room before either her aunt or sister could speak.

Mr. Darcy woke the next morning with an ache in his right leg. The mattress was soft enough, but he was not used to it. He looked toward the window and could see a tall tree with sparrows hopping around the branches. Rising from the bed, he lightly massaged the offending muscle in his leg before walking to the window. The clear sky promised a warm day. Martins were circling overhead, occasionally swooping down as they caught their six-legged prey.

Looking back to the ground, he noticed he could see a corner of the stables and the path leading to them from the house. Very old oak trees obstructed his view of the rest of the building. He smiled as he wished he had time to go riding this morning. Surely, Mr. Bennet would have an acceptable mount for him. A creaking by the door alerted him to the fact that there were others in the house he needed to please. He could not simply ride off and ignore Elizabeth's family.

Thankfully, the sound turned out to be from his valet. Within half an hour, Mr. Darcy was fully dressed and ready for church services. "Has anyone else risen, Williams?" He asked before heading for the door.

"No sir. You would hear anyone who walks across that hall. I have never been more afraid to move than when I was coming to meet you now."

"It seems that I can use that hallway as a warning that someone is coming. Thank you for your assistance today. I hope that tomorrow we will be leaving early. Do you think we could be ready by eight?"

"Nine-thirty is more likely, considering the hours of the rest of the household. I believe you will be expected to have dinner with the family before you depart."

"Yes, that is true. Very well. See that everything is prepared."

"Yes, sir." Mr. Williams opened the door for his master and bowed as Mr. Darcy stepped through the door.

The floorboards creaked the entire way to the stairs. Thankfully, the stairs were positioned correctly, and he no longer made any squeaks. When he reached the bottom, he looked up to ensure no one was stirring. Not a sound could be heard. He sighed in relief and moved to the breakfast room. Servants had set out coffee, tea, and toast, but it was clearly not a formal breakfast. That would most likely happen when they return from church services. He took a seat near the head and poured himself a cup as he thought about how Georgiana would love for him to delay their mornings like this.

He briefly wondered if Elizabeth would be an early riser like him or prefer the evenings like Georgiana. Many times at Rosings he had encountered Elizabeth in early morning walks, but she also had been very attentive in the evenings, when he was less able to remain alert. His quandary was satisfied moments later when Mr. Bennet descended the stairs to take his seat at the head of the table.

"Good morning, Mr. Darcy. I see that you are very similar to Elizabeth. She prefers mornings to every other part of the day."

Mr. Darcy smiled, relieved to hear it. "Good morning, Mr. Bennet. I am fond of mornings, but my sister is not. If I did not require her presence at the table by eight o'clock, I would never see her until after noon."

"Then you are stricter than I am. Mrs. Hill is a godsend. She will ensure the rest of my family are out the door in time for services. I discovered long ago that it is too much trouble to take the task myself."

Mr. Darcy could think of no reply other than to nod. Thankfully, Mr. Bennet seemed to require no other response. They sat in silence for another few minutes, each sipping their coffee and munching on the toast while they waited. Mr. Darcy had rarely ever felt more uncomfortable.

The rest of the Bennets slowly began to descend the stairs. Lydia was first, but she refused to sit at the table. She and Kitty were determined to dislike Mr. Darcy for his treatment of Lieutenant Wickham, and not even their mother could change their mind. Mrs. Bennet did not stop trying. She nearly dragged Mary from her music sheets and sat her down beside Mr. Darcy.

Mrs. Bennet was, of course, planning to use her connection to Mr. Darcy to her full advantage, especially if Mary could be the next to become engaged to a man of high society. While it might be true that Mr. Bingley had not yet returned to Netherfield, he was such good friends with Mr. Darcy that it could now be expected that Bingley would return to marry Jane. It is time to move on to the other girls. "Mr. Darcy, you barely know my third daughter, Mary, but I believe you will like her very much. She could be a companion for your sister when you launch Miss Darcy into society. Women should never be alone at such an important time."

Darcy could only nod to Mrs. Bennet. His old, defensive attitude toward matchmaking mamas came quickly to his rescue. He recovered from his discontent quickly enough to greet Mary warmly, which completely astonished Mary into greeting him without mentioning anything at all from Fordyce's Sermons. Seeing the music sheets in Mary's hand, Darcy changed the topic to famous composers, and Mr. and Mrs. Bennet watched as Mary had her first real conversation with a gentleman. Mr. Bennet was very impressed.

At eight o'clock sharp, the family had assembled on the front steps of Longbourn and was ready to walk to church. Mrs. Bennet took Mr. Darcy's arm and regaled him with all her hopes and dreams for her daughters while they walked. Kitty and Lydia walked behind them giggling at everything their mother said. Mary and Mr. Bennet made up the rear of the procession, and the latter was able to congratulate his daughter on her success.

The service, like many others in the country, was short and to the point. After the service, while Mr. Darcy was introduced to the entire neighborhood, Mr. Bennet shrugged off to speak with the clergyman.

Mrs. Bennet was fully in her element as she greeted each of her neighbors. Lady Lucas was the first one she cornered to tell the good news. "Lady Lucas, my Lizzy has been a sly one, she is now engaged, and you would never believe to whom."

Sir William and Lady Lucas eyed Mr. Darcy carefully, certain that Mrs. Bennet could mean no other. There was no other rationale for his being on her arm. "Congratulations, Mrs. Bennet, Mr. Darcy. Elizabeth is a very good girl and will make a very proper wife." Lady Lucas liked Elizabeth, but her quick wit had prevented her from ever forming a serious attachment. Sir William, on the other hand, was delighted.

"Mr. Darcy, you have captured one of the brightest jewels in the country. I remember when you danced together at Netherfield. You were simply stunning together. We should have all seen it coming after that display, however, we did not. But no matter, what is done is done for the best, as they say. Will you be long in the neighborhood, sir?"

Mr. Darcy had been hiding his inner demons while Sir William spoke. It was not in Sir William's nature to be rude or to attempt to hurt someone with his words, but he had no idea what pain Mr. Darcy felt at the memory of the night of the Netherfield ball. She had defended Wickham, and he had done nothing to correct her misjudgment. He could not help but wonder if things would have turned out differently had he not simply remained with her instead of walking away.

He did not forget to respond. "I leave tomorrow morning for London, Sir William."

"Ah, yes. You would be eager to see your betrothed, I am certain. When you return, my wife will host a dinner in your honor."

"Thank you, sir. We would be delighted to attend." He shook Sir William's hand, but he could not say more because Mrs. Bennet was finished speaking with Lady Lucas and had just seen Mrs. Phillips. Mr. Darcy's arm was yanked away to greet more neighbors. In light of all the accusations Elizabeth had thrown at him at the parsonage, he tried very hard to pay attention and give these people all of his best manners. While he did not speak much, everyone noticed the change in his demeanor and quickly forgot they had ever disliked the gentleman.

Half an hour of mingling and the Bennets were walking back to Longbourn with Mr. Darcy. Mrs. Bennet spoke of her new fame without caring that Mr. Darcy listened. He walked in silence barely comprehending what she said.


	9. Author's note

The rest of this story has been removed for publication, which will happen sometime this spring. As I get more details about publication, I will share with you. For those of you who will rant, leaving part of this story available here is not against the story guidelines. I finished the story in its entirety, and my readers were able to read it free. I am not making anyone buy anything. I am now keeping this preview up as proof of copyright. I am the only one who has the rights to publish this story. If you see it elsewhere, please let me know.


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